THANKGOD THE PRESIDENT IS NOW FIT AND PROPER

Who Are Those Who Want To Know The Nature Of PMBs Illness?  Here it is.

But before that, I am sure we all have neighbours and relatives and friends. Do they know us well?

You know, Nigeria is still the country where a pregnant woman would use wrapper to cover her stomach so that neighbors won't see that she is pregnant. It is still in this same Nigeria that an expectant mother would refuse to share the joy of the sex of her baby because she is afraid that some witches and wizards might change the sex of the baby boy she has been praying for "after her first disappointment when she had a baby girl instead of a baby boy." That's actually what one woman stated as her reason for not telling her friends the result of her ultrasound.

In Nigeria, women adopt children and have the mind to walk into a church to give testimony how they carried pregnancy for 9 months. And the ones who did IVF would testify of the miracle, thank their pastor for the prayers, and will never mention the medical doctor who made it possible; even if to encourage other women. Only in Nigeria and it's this same characters that are asking "Buhari to pack well." Is Buhari not a Nigerian? If he is, why then do we expect him to do something deeply "UnNigerian?"

We expect too much.  It would be a first if he does. Otherwise, Who will guarantee him that witches and Wizards won't multiply his ill health?  We saw the same pattern with Yar'Adua and Mama Peace. That's the curse of blacks in Africa. 

You that is asking, when you catch gonorrhoea, do you tell anybody? Many women even lie to their doctors about the number of abortions they have had. You would ask someone who has not eaten for two  days, "how are you sir" and they will give you a thunderous "very fine. We thank God." How? Yes, I can understand the "we thank God" part. But what of being fine as a hungry man? Pretence!!!

Who is honest and open and truthful in this country? A great majority of us are like Buhari as far as our privacy is concerned.

I know some guys who would hide the fact that they can't rise to the occasion, not knowing that we have the solution; they only need to open up because it is offensive to approach a guy and ask him, "nwanne ina arukwa oru igbo" which translated would mean "Bros are you having good sex?" And even if you brave it to ask them, they would still lie about it. After all those of us who last 2 minutes are claiming 2 hours, instead of acknowledging the standard 13 minutes. Only in Nigeria!

Here in Nigeria abused women and other victims of domestic violence still celebrate their husband with fantastically corrupt updates: "in my next life, you will still be my husband." And this is someone whose clitoris was nearly bitten off last time o! I mean not physically though. But some women have denied their own child so that they could get married. Only in NIGERIA!

Apart from "headache and fever," do Nigerians even get sick? Of course, not until it's time to take the person to India, that's when they would share 50 percent of what is happening to them; and probably because they need money.
In fact the only time you might know that a friend is seriously sick is when they are about to borrow money from you to pay doctors; even at that, they still won't tell you the truth.

The new addition to our  lexicon now is "Hale and hearty" when describing people who are sick. This is according to our pastor Acting President. In other words,  if you see anybody who is very sick, more than they have ever been in their entire life, proclaim them to be "Hale and hearty" as long as that person is a Nigerian.  For example, if the person has gonorrhoea, you could say that the person is "hale and hearty.... but he can only have sex after two weeks." We will have an idea. Another example is, if it's cancer and the person is in an induced coma, the response to the question of their condition is "hale and hearty.... just resting." And if you like you can add "they will be on their way home soon."  But be sure that the person is a Nigerian before you talk another nonsense.

Finally, in this country,  couples are ready to pretend that they are not even having sex until one of them carry belle. Yet, many Nigerian couples are into swinging already with their friends and neighbours where everybody is doing everybody. A country of hypocrites, for hypocrites , by hypocrites to the pleasure of the poor and the rich. Now that you understand that PMB is a Nigerian, can we respect ourselves and focus on 2019? Up Nigeria. God bless. (MIU, July 2017).