LOVE AND INTIMACY WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW. BY ECHEKWU SUNDAY

WHAT YOUR PREACHERS NEVER PREACHED TO YOU BEFORE MARRIAGE - © Echekwu Sunday

LOVE AND INTIMACY From the genesis of our understanding about good happily home, we were told that, it's only God that can do that and as a young boy or girl, before one can be incorporated into such, he or she has to keep hiself or herself chased and be fervently in prayers, penances and sacrifices. First of all, I would like to make my stance known to all and sundry that, I am a dedicated Catholics, my believe about Jesus Christ our Lord and personal saviour was built in the Catholic catechism which I solemnly believe is the Orthodox and universal. By implications, I am not an atheist, but proudly a citizen of the world. Sometimes my philosophy about religions is somewhat awkward but I always have my retraces at every tunnel. BASIC POINTS TO BE LOOKED INTO The point I am trying to make here is that, we all know how our man-of-God and some of our parents behaves to the extent that, we are constraints by their believe and have this kind of indoctrination that, " Intimacy before marriage is a very big sin before God and man" am really not against this anyways because it serves as a guide line from teenagers-adolescence to adulthood. But if you think that alone is a warrant to good and healthy marriage I think that is where your failure starts from. Most of the ugly problems we encounter on a bases in our marriages could be traced to even the initial stage which is the INTIMACY which my major focus is going to be on; but we chosen to remain mute with these pretexts: anyways, I will pray about it or no relationship is flawless, he/she will get back to his/her senses in no time. Alright we hope so not known so. Actually, it really works for some certain individuals while its a total different things to others. Be remained that, personality is the last thing to be changed in the life of individual. Will tolerate throughout your marital life which your life may end up as a sub change. ( if you are already in this mess maybe as a result you didn't know before may God help you and give you good marital life you ever desire) In my little understanding about good marital life and a Happy family like that of Pa Joseph and ma-ma Mary ( St Joseph and Holy Mary) of those decades and you have not yet married, i have some possible clues here for you just like I said earlier, my focus will be on "INTIMACY" so we shall look at some of the steps: 👉 INTIMACY: What is intimacy one may like to have a clue of what it means, WHAT IS INTIMACY? Intimacy is closeness between people in personal relationships. It's what builds over time as you connect with someone, grow to care about each other, and feel more and more comfortable during your time together. It can include physical or emotional closeness, or even a mix of the two. Stage 1: Initial Meeting/Attraction Dating relationships have to start somewhere, yes its really have to because it don't just happen like the proposed coming of Jesus Christ which we are eagerly awaiting.#smile.. The initial meeting may take place over the internet: Facebook ( my handle Echekwu Sunday) through friends, in a church or any social groups, at a party or bar or any one of a myriad of many different places. Different arenas for meeting allow for different opportunities to get to know each other and see if there is enough curiosity or interest to take it to the next level which would involve arranging a second or third meeting. ( How-we-see-na) you get the logic clearly right? It's often found within the scope of boys, wait, did I say boys?! I think I meant: "BiG-BoYs-GuYz" I don't know if the later exist. Lol. Stage 2: Curiosity, Interest, and Infatuation To all females friends that do-did asks question like: "could it be LOVE or just an INFATUATIONS" ??? E shock you right? Aunty just be calming down for that big guy oooo, why not just say yes and see how things unfolds? When you starts enjoying the merriment you will not remember me again oooo anyways, let's proceed.... During the second stage, attraction and infatuation are mostly pronounced, that's it anyway, its likely migrate to the next level #wink. Early attraction often involves the physical attributes of the partner and include things like outward appearance, body type, interests and personality traits; ( wahala for us well no be fine boy #lol, anyways, if I was or is a fine boy this piece might have not been put up, as in eehhh.... There are some fine boy that sabi something shall make I call names? Echekwu Sunday and the other ones lol. Nobody is really ugly just like P-square sang it, it depends on how you look at them and the quality you wanted to be meant before you go to aisle with...) At this stage, the attraction may not be too “deep” and each half of a couple is generally putting his or her best foot forward. Differences are not noticed or are dismissed with thoughts like “not a big deal” or “she will change”. Couples generally do not have much conflict at this stage of the cycle as each is really trying hard to impress the other person. Often (not always) there is not enough “is this the right person for me” but rather more “what can I do to make this person like me?” This stage may last for 3 or 4 months depending on the individuals and their maturity, experience and self-understanding. Towards the end of this stage, and hopefully at other times throughout it, it is not unusual for questions of “is this the right person for me” to emerge. For women especially there may also be a desire to figure out where the relationship is headed. Going slowly in making any decisions about a relationship are more likely to be better ones than moving quickly (unless it is clear that the relationship is not a good fit). Stage 3: Relationship is a damn risk, treat your partner with a lot of respect. You may be wondering what made me to add this which I am going to pin points below. RELATIONSHIP IS A RISK, Have you ever sat down and have a rethink about the person you love so much and the person loves you alike to the extent he/she will make any sacrifice for you be it monetary or otherwise? What if you visits him and something happened to any of you ( just two of you in the room or you went to party) do you think his or her parents will just believe you? Have you ever Been told to cut that craps, cut that cock and bully shit?! Even when you're saying the truth? May it never be your portion in Jesus name but I would like to draw my curtains here because I presumed you know what I meant Even it happens in a legally marriage too. But God will never shame us. Stage 4: “Enlightenment” and Becoming a Couple. I can attest to this that, it's ever phenomena dream but ladies appreciates this more often than the males, ( I come in peace though #lol). During this stage of a relationship, hormones are calming down and reality sets in. Couples often go “deeper” in their connection. Trust is stronger and more intimacies may be shared at this stage as couples take away some of their “best face” and allow themselves to act more naturally and relaxed. Both halves of a couple will notice weaknesses and differences or flaws. “Cute” habits might become irritating at this stage. Some of those perpetual issues or differences such as free-spending or frugal, neat and orderly or sloppy and disorganized, interested in lots of time together or more involved in outside activities begin to emerge. At this stage of the relationship, couples will take note of the differences and may even begin to complain or attempt to problem-solve. As intimacy develops between the two people, more self-disclosure emerges, both verbally and nonverbally as couples act in ways that are more like how they are in their daily life. This is when the big question emerges even more strongly: “Where are we headed?“ Women have a tendency to ask this question before men, even though both may be wondering about the answer to this question. Pushing for an answer; however, may cause real problems in the relationship. Each person needs to listen to their own inner voice and wisdom. It is important to talk over their thoughts and feelings with their partner while finding ways to keep from “pushing” for commitment. There is no need to rush through this important stage and every reason to go slowly. May God help us not to ask this question: " WHERE HAVE WE HEADED IN OUR LOVE LIFE" Stage 4: Commitment or Engagement. Since love is involved, commitment can never be left out just like the other three component of love which are: PLEASURE, PASSION SACRIFICE At this stage in relationship, couples should have a good understanding of their partner’s values, life style, and goals for the future. There should be a relationship with each other’s family and friends. Open and honest conversations should be happening as couples plan their present and future together. Questions about children, finances, careers, future goals and lifestyle should be discussed more fully. Differences are normal and couples will learn about themselves and their relationship as they note how they handle these differences with each other. Tkhis is also an important stage for couples to use to evaluate the relationship and their ability to be part of an emotionally intelligent relationship. Engagements can be broken much more easily and can clearly be a better decision than getting married and divorced. May our ours remain intact and unbroken. Follow my blog for more. Ekum voice. © Echekwu Sunday, CEO Ekum voice. Copy right @ MR FREEDOM MAN